Cutting in Halves

I am busy editing a new magazine, which will be published in January 2009. Without giving too much of the game away, I’ve been having great fun researching material from back issues of the Essex County Standard. My two favourite experiences so far have been re-learning how to use a microfilm reader after a gap of about nine years (they still have near-empty ink cartridges) and getting distracted by stories that have absolutely nothing to do with the job I’m trying to do.

This story, which just caught my eye, is so good that I had to share it. It is from the 28th January 1859 issue of the then Essex Standard and is exactly the sort of thing we should be offering today’s soldiers.

BROADSWORD FEATS.— On Saturday afternoon the Colchester Garrison assembled on parade to witness the feats of Professor Thomas, the “champion swordsman,” of London, some of which were most remarkable. Amongst the feats with the broadsword were the following:— Halving an apple suspended in a handkerchief, borrowed from the company, without injuring the latter; cutting the thread attached to an orange, and dividing the fruit on its fall; taking three or four clear rings off a raw egg placed in a perpendicular position, without breaking the end of the shell; severing a broomstick placed on the edge of two glasses of water without spilling the liquid; cutting a silk scarf, floating in the air; severing a bar of lead; and cutting in halves a leg of mutton; each feat being performed with a single stroke of the sword. The most dangerous and perhaps the most dextrous feat was diving [sic] a lemon placed in the palm of the naked hand. This was performed upon the hand of one of the officers, the Professor explaining that the successful accomplishment of the feat depended chiefly upon the eye. At the close a liberal subscription remunerated the exhibitor for his performance. It is stated that Professor Thomas has received the authority of the Duke of Cambridge to give his entertainments at all the military stations and camps in the United Kingdom.

Excellent stuff — a sort of Sharpe meets Tom Tit. I also love the precision of “cutting in halves a leg of mutton”, as opposed to the modern “cutting a leg of mutton in half”. I just wonder whether it’s a little too archaic for me to use in commercial work.

Author: Ben Locker
Posted: 11th December, 2008 at 11:29 am in Blog.
Tags: colchester, entertainment, garrison, tricks
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